Degeneration
Pull on my dress
Impress
I wanna runaway
But it’s the price I pay when everything is for sale
Discount the times I click
Don’t want a bit of it
I want all of it packaged up and perfect
What you spend on me gives dividends
You got your deficit so be sure to fix me
Make me better
You say I’m never enough
So make me better
Make me
Make me
So, you want a war of emotion
You want to profit from our mass self destruction
No! What have you put in motion?
You have created your own degeneration
Feet to the fire
Poison in our palms
Defeating these monsters
You conjured without our consent
Just to create your content
Keep up the buzz
Filter what I can’t unsee
Take my body
Prop it up and then crop it down
Star studded mirror cold
I don’t know what I see
I am the enemy according to your script
Special disorder come get it while it lasts
It is going fast
For a limited time only
Make me better
You say I’m never enough
So make me better
Make me
Make me
So you want a war of emotion
You want to profit from our mass self destruction
No! What have you put in motion?
You have created your own degeneration
“Degeneration“ - 40in x 40in original oil painting
Stand Here
Stand here
Make the call and wait for her
Who knew you'd be standing here forever
Waiting for us to make a change
Waiting for us to make it better
Check your pockets now
Do you have "running", "hiding", and "fighting"?
We equipped you with window shades
Shelter-in-place and such
So you should be ready for anything
You should be safe because you are warned
Be prepared!
Be trauma-informed!
Be more!
Photographs will only burn so fast
Memories are the ones that last
Why are you gone?
We offered thoughts and prayers, isn't that enough?
Change has a name but I won't say it for the fear
Charge me for the crime, I'll do my time, or I won't!
Stand here
Exit plans say you'll be fine
You've got your rights and I've got mine
And if our worlds don't align
You've got justice on your side
Take the active threat
and defend yourself with all that we taught you.
Just stay away from all the doors
Turn off the light
You should be ready for anything
You should be safe
You should be warned
Be prepared!
Be trauma-informed!
Be more!
“Stand Here“ - 40in x 40in original oil painting
1500 Rings
Cut me once measure me twice
Rains are gone it’s a swingset night
Sickles and shovels now it’s your turn
Won’t make a difference who was bitter first
High ground
Eventually floods
You’ll find out
If you wait long enough
One by one strike it
Two by two follow through
Three by three wink it
Four by four black and blue
Stand up sit down
Feel the rage
Catch yourself in the debate
Find the fight that resonates
In even weather
Butterfly falling like a loose paper plane
A chainsaw wedding, a pressing state
Ropes and gourds and strict platforms
738 microstorms
Climb down
Take a bough
Find out
What exactly is “allowed”
I’m not coming down
You can’t rappel me now
I’ll trespass the time
1500 rings singing the silence keeping the violence out
I can see it but I can’t stop it
That’s why I need you
I’m not coming down
You can’t rappel me now
I’ll trespass the time
1500 rings singing the silence keeping the violence out
One by one strike it
Two by two follow through
Three by three wink it
Four by four black and blue
“1500 Rings“ - original painting
Spells Of Deception
The lies that I told you… I too believed them at the time.
So don’t think me so cruel.
I was an idiot under spells of deception.
I was weak in a moment that lasted twenty some odd years.
I know it seems like I owe you but I have only just now found this mirror.
All the times that I’d hold you and whisper goose bumps into your ear.
I said “we are forever!”
I said so many things just to keep you near.
I was weak in a moment that lasted twenty some odd years.
I know it seems like I owe you but I have only just now found the mirror.
I need some time to look around, some time to understand, some time to remember, time to separate…
The lies that I told you… I too believed them at the time.
So don’t think me so cruel.
I was an idiot under spells of deception.
Let Me Try
When you calm down we can talk about all the things that you said in your rage.
I can’t even hear you and I know that I don’t know everything, but I can see the look on your face.
And I know that face I’ve seen it in just about every position; a smile, a frown, and now frozen.
And when the numbness settles in, it seems like noone’s getting in, No matter what they say to you.
But I wanna try.
I wanna try.
I want to be the one to be there for you.
I wanna try.
Let me try.
Let me be the the one to be there for you.
What you left unspoken I picked up as broken pieces trying to set it right.
This is only one moment in a stack of growing memories fading into our history.
I am an observer in the night, watching you leave yet holding you tight.
You’ll never know my love for you.
Listen, I know you try to keep it in, but I see that your thoughts are hidden and you say you can’t let me in.
But I wanna try.
I wanna try.
I want to be the one to be there for you.
I wanna try.
Let me try.
Let me be the the one to be there for you.
Grow Away
The leaves of grass will split and splay
Will grow away
From where the roots push down.
The stone cold shoulders
And crooked focus
Will fester on
Decay in the sun
Eleven years
Like garden rows
So beautiful
You’ve become your own
But the season changes
With God’s cycle
And we are faced
With what we must
Your story starts here.
This is not the end.
Stacks of white paper
Are the walls and stairs.
Fill in the pages
And always know…
The pain of ages
Is how we grow away.
Time is a lenient shepherd
Letting memories stray and dissipate.
Just take what matters
Let the rest be clustered
And released like tiny sparrows in the night.
